Everybody has to grow up, right? No! Your dads stayed kids forever…literally they, like you are countries and will live forever. That means an enteral lifetime of bailing them out of jail, cleaning their messes, apologizing to pissed off countries for whatever brilliant plan they’ve recently failed at; nonetheless you love your dads...most of the time.
-SCARY RELETIVES & SEXY BRIDESMAIDS
You ran a hand over your pearl white dress “Dammit where they hell are they?!” you mumbled as you waited for your fathers to walk you down the aisle.
“____! Umm…sorry we’re late we had to deal with some…business in zhe parking lot.” Francis lied fixing his tie.
“S-sí that’s what we were doing not making out with your sexy bridesmaids!” Antonio added.
“Ja! Vhat they said!” Gilbert nodded.
You rolled your eyes “Sure, that’s why Papa’s tie is messed up, Vati’s pants are backwards and Papá’s shirt is inside out. Just fix yourselves and don’t touch my dress”
“All done!” Antonio said as the four of you linked arms and walked you down the aisle to Mr. Austria’s music. Towards your groom Alfred and Feliciano…the minister.
LE TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR SEXY BRIDESMAIDS…
“I do.” you smiled as Alfred placed the ring on your finger.
“Ve~Then with the-a vested power in-a me by Grandpa Rome and Ms. Britannia now-a pronounce you-a America and wife. Ve~ you-a may now kiss-a the bride.” Feliciano smiled as Alfred kissed you.
The reception was quite nice; every country gave you their blessing and Alfred threats as to what would happen if he broke your heart.
“You-a listen here and you-a listen good, bastard! You-a hurt my-a niece in any type of way and you’ll wake up in-a the bottom of Venice in-a concrete sneakers, capice?” Lovino growled.
“C-capice d-dude!!!” Alfred whimpered as he shook in his shoes running to Arthur for protection.
“I thought you said that you weren’t going to be involved with my love life.” You smiled nudging your uncle’s side.
“I’m not but no one messes with my favorite niece.”
You gave the Italian a tight squeeze "Awhh!~ I'm your favorite?!"
He rolled his honey eyes "Tch. Idiota... Ti amo"
"Ti amo troppo tio Lovi!~"
"This-a shit is-a getting too-a fucking mushy I'm-a leaving!"he huffed as you giggled.
You smiled as he walked away realizing something....“I’m his only niece.”
-KEEP CALM & DON’T LEAVE HIM ALONE WITH VATI
You smiled as you set the table for your lunch with your fathers and your husband Alfred. You stared into the brown eyes of an orange tabby “Hello Mr. Burgers~” you sang.
The cat looked at the knives in your hand “Meow…” Translation: Are you trying to get my owner killed?!
“Maybe I should keep the knives away from vati until he gets used to the news…” you nodded as you put the knives back in the drawer.
You heard the doorbell go off “Keep calm ___. Keep calm and don’t leave him alone with vati.” You whispered as you shook Alfred awake from his nap on your couch.
“A-are they here?” he asked sleepily.
“Yeah! Okay! Just smile and try to stay awake!” You advised as you opened the door.
“____!” Francis smiled.
“____!” Gilbert chirped.
“Peep!” Gilbird peeped perching on your shoulder.
“Hey buddy!” you smiled stroking the bird with one finger.
“Hi dudes!” Alfred smiled bro hugging the three men on your doorstep.
The five of you sat down and began eating.
“_____, vhat’s the matter, liebe?” Gilbert asked as he realized your unusual silence “What did you do to my little girl America?!”
If you didn’t tell them now Alfred would surely die before he got to meet his child “Vati, Papa, Papá…I’m pregnant…”
“America…I’m going to give you 5 seconds to run…” Gilbert growled.
- I’M FAT & SPAIN’S FACES
You sat on your sofa with Francis, Antonio and Gilbert staring at you…waiting for you to explode. You rub your temples in a slow, circular motion. Though pregnancy was supposed to be magical or some shit, but for the last nine months, you've felt like you've been placed into a living hell.
“Staring at me won’t make the baby come out any faster.” You mumbled moving (h/c) locks from your face.
“Vell can’t blame us for trying.” Gilbert said as you stood up and began walking around.
“Ma chérie!!! Your belly looks like a mountain in that shirt!” Francis snickered rubbing his mockingly flat stomach.
You stopped taking a deep breath in “I KNOW I’M FAT PAPA!!! NO NEED TO RUB IN HOW FUCKING HUGE I AM!!!!” you sobbed.
“Chica…your papa is just an idiot he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Antonio smiled hugging you.
“Dammit Papá don’t lie to me! I know how gross I-”you stopped as you felt water run down your leg.
“Liebe?” Gilbert asked looking at your pale face “Are you okay?”
“Ohonhonhon~! _____ did the baby kick your kidney again? You pissed your pants!” Francis laughed.
“Papa, call Alfred. Vati, Papá take me to the hospital…mien water broke… ”you whimpered as all hell broke loose.
The drive to the hospital was tense and full of your…rainbow language you’d picked up from Uncle Romano.
“Okay Chica!” Antonio said as Gilbert wheeled you into the delivery room “Alfred will be here soon. Here’s how you do this!” he shouted as he hopped on the delivery bed sitting in the position used to have a baby “You wait for the doctors to say PUSH! Then you go Uno…dos…thres…and you push like this” he made a face that somewhat resembled the face of a constipated whale.
You smiled slightly until a contraction hit “DAMMIT PAPI MOVE YOUR SPANISH ASS OUT OF THE MOTHERFUCKING WAY I’M GOING TO EXPLODE IN A COUPLE FUCKING SECONDS!!!!” you cursed as tears built in your (e/c) orbs.
“Okay! Okay! Chica!” The Spaniard nodded moving out of the way.
LE TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR MOUNTAIN BELLY!!!
“Mrs. Jones; Mr. Jones; Mr. Beilschmidt; Mr. Bonnefoy Mr. Carriedo, the baby is a healthy baby boy.” The doctor smiled “Oh and there are some people here to see you”
The countries. Every damn one came to see the new baby…
“He’s really cute! Just like you were! What’s his name, aru?”
“I’ll teach him to grow sunflowers, da?”
“I’ll buy him his first frying pan!”
“I’m totally like buying his baby clothes!!!”
“Ve~ I’ll-a teach him-a how to-a make pasta!”
“Vell, I’ll train him so he’s not fat after eating all that pasta.”
“Wercome to the worrd rittre…____ what’s his name?”
“Marcos. Marcos Francis Antonio Gilbert Jones.” You smiled.
- TOMATOES, BEER & HAMBUGERS
You smiled to yourself enjoying the tranquilly of you home until…“Mom!!! Dad is trying to take me to McDonalds again!!!” your 11 year old Marcos wailed.
“____! Something is wrong with our son-“
“-‘ates McDonalds we know! Good America he just likes ‘igh class food” Francis finished for him.
Gilbert smirked then added “Ja! He prefers beer over soda because he’s not stupid!”
“You gave my son beer?!” You growled at the Prussian.
“It v-vas only a bottle…”
“Dammit dad! If he becomes an alcoholic you’re a dead man!”
“Abuelito Antonio I want tomatoes!”
“In the kitchen hijo.” Your Papá smiled.
“Okay.” He said skipping off to the kitchen.
“____! He hates McDonalds! That’s inhumane! ”Alfred whined.
“Alfie! Calm yourself! It’s just food! Vati! If you ever give my son alcohol again you will die slowly. Papa! Papá!Take care of these idiots I’m going to go get a manicure!”
“Te amo, Je t'aime, Ich liebe dich and I love you!!!”You shouted as you fled the house.
You did love your dads…all the time.